I guess this doesn't mean much:

I stumbled across an e-mail she sent me a while ago. I remember answering yes to most of the questions. Damn chain letter things. Well here is is.

Are you one of these guys?

Im the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.

Im the guy who will hold you when you're crying and wipe away your tears.

Im the guy who still thinks you're beautiful with no makeup on wearing sweats and a big t-shirt.

Im the guy who won't pressure you to do things you dont want to.

Im the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.

Im the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

Im the guy who doesnt kiss and tell.

Im the guy who actually listens to you when you talk.

Im the guy who's excited all day because im looking forward to our date that night.

Im the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.

I'm the guy who can't help but smile when you walk into the room.

Im the guy who's perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

Im the guy who won't lie to you about where he's going or where he's been or who he's been with.

Im the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name.

I'm the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends he loves you.

Im the guy who doesnt mess with other girls when i have you

Im the guy who doesn't care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.

I'm the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset.

I'M THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.

I AM THIS GUY.... one of many.... who always ends up loosing her to the jerks who'll treat her like crap and are "too good of a friend" to date


The last one doesn't really work for the present situation, but whatever.

That was fast...

So we had a pretty good fight on Wednesday... By the time I decided it wasn't good for us to continue we had already pissed each other off thoroughly.

(11:31:15 PM) Me: Nichole, I'm going to bed. (11:31:21 PM) Her: why (11:32:45 PM) Me: Because I don't want to fight while I'm still upset at you, and I am tired, and I haven't been getting to bed on time so I figure if I say I'm going to bed now I will actually get to sleep at midnight.

I finally fell asleep around :45. I had my headphones on my pillow but I couldn't hear the other four messages arrive:

(11:47:47 PM) Her: i'm tired of taking shit from people for being attractive, standing up for myself and people who won't stand up for themselves, and for being myself (11:49:13 PM) Her: whatever it is that people seem to think is worth saying hurtful things to or about me (11:50:11 PM) Her: i don't want to do it anymore (11:50:37 PM) Her: did you call me?

She finally went to bed, or at least turned off her computer, at 12:11.

Maybe things would have been different if I'd stayed? I am still not sure the exact circumstances surrounding the next events:

I got home from school at 2:15. At 2:21 she signed on from school. Now I was expecting things to be a little touchy. That's how things are after days like that.


 2:21:42 - Signed on

(2:22:06 PM) Her: hi (2:22:14 PM) Me: Hello. (2:22:30 PM) Her: we're taking apart computers (2:22:57 PM) Me: Oh? (2:23:04 PM) Her: yes (2:23:05 PM) Her: also

Pause. What will she say next? You have 14 seconds to figure it out. If you know her like I do, that is the signal for "I want to break up."

(2:23:19 PM) Her: i'm done with us

Wait what? Just like that?

(2:23:37 PM) Me: Sigh. (2:23:40 PM) Her: we can talk about it later (2:23:50 PM) Her: i have to do this computer thing right now

But... That's hardly fair!

(2:23:52 PM) Her: or you can text me. (2:24:07 PM) Me: That's fine, I don't want to distract you. (2:24:16 PM) Her: texting time (2:24:18 PM) Her: byee

 2:25:29 - Signed off

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Whatever I was expecting for the next time we talked, it wasn't that. I mean, even if she was so upset that she wanted to leave me, aren't couples supposed to talk about their problems?

So I "[layed] in bed, crying off and on" until I had to go to the store. By the time I got back she was online again. We talked for a bit, I in my depressive tone and her... almost happy, but I could have been reading it wrong. Later that night we talked a little more. Here's a quote.

(8:46:37 PM) Her: did i show you what [your brother]/[his girlfriend] said to me? [...] (8:47:06 PM) Her: it's part of the reason why i chose to break up with you

Wait wait wait... WHAT?

So I have my brother to partially blame for my sadness? I mean, she may have had the idea still, but if he wasn't such an asshat I may have gotten the "I want to break up" instead of the "i'm done with us."

I have to admit I'm curious, but not curious enough to ask. What the hell could they have said that would convince her that she should leave me so suddenly?

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More later I guess. If I think about it.