The end...?

It's not over yet. Time is wearing thin, but it's not over. If only I could find a way to keep it from happening. I feel so bad already at the thought of losing her... It will be worse when it happens and I won't have her to help me through. Does it have to happen? Really? What is gained by us breaking up? All I can see is sadness. I will be lonely and depressed and nobody will be able to help. I have nobody without her. She has become my best friend in this past year and I know we'll lose that too. :'( I can't even see my keyboard. All I can see is a haze of black and white through my tears. I STILL LOVE YOU NICHOLE! I still need you. Don't leave me. Don't...

I can't do that. I won't force you to stay with me if you don't want it. I'll be nice and hide my pain. You will not see my suffering. You can live your life however you wish, I will not hinder whatever is is you want to do. In fact, forget I said anything about me suffering. You don't have to worry about hurting me. Ha ha hah... See? I'm happy. I'm laughing. So no worries, right?
I only have a few things left to do while we're still "together" and then you can do whatever you wish. I hope my gift doesn't cause you any pain. I know it hurts me to work on it. But I have to get it done. I can't let this sit here unfinished. I have a week and two days... I hope I can get it finished in time, lest it be given after we break up. That would be bad.